How to handle a telemarketer

The phone rang as I was sitting down to my evening meal, and as I answered it, I was greeted with "Is this Joe Brummer?"

Not sounding anything like my name, I asked who is calling. The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber Band Powered Freezer Company or something like that.

Then I asked him if he knew Joe personally and why was he calling this number. I then said, off to the side, "get some pictures of the body at various angles and the blood smears." I then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call,and he would be receiving a summons to testify in this murder case.

I questioned the caller at great length as to his name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this call.

The telemarketer was getting very concerned and his answers were given in a shaky voice. I then told him we had located his position and the police were entering the building to take him into custody and at that point I heard the phone fall and the scurrying of his running away.

My wife asked me as I returned to our table why I had tears streaming down my face and so help me, I couldn't tell her for several minutes.

My meal was cold, but it was the best meal in a long, long time.